


Chat's out of the Bag

by diamond_dreamer



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bad Puns, Chloé Bourgeois Causes an Akuma, Humor, Secret Identity, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamond_dreamer/pseuds/diamond_dreamer
Summary: Superheros and secrets go together like ice cream and apple pie, but what happens when Ladybug and Chat Noir face off against a villain that can force someone to reveal their personal secrets?





	1. Chloe ruins everything, as usual

It was all Chloe's fault. It was always Chloe's fault.   
It started when Mrs. Bustier caught Rose and Juleka passing notes during class. Typically, the punishment for this was having the note read out loud- after all, if you're going to talk in class, no matter how, it's the whole class's business. The students didn't really agree with this view, but it was better than detention. Mrs. Bustier took the note from the embarrassed Jukela, read it, and paused. After a moment of consideration, she finally spoke.   
"Juleka, do you have a pencil I could borrow?" Mrs. Bustier read before turning to look at Rose. "Did Jukela have a pencil?"  
Rose had an oddly confused expression on her face for such a simple question before her face widened in clarity. "Yes Mrs. Bustier."  
"Good. If you ever need a pencil, you can always ask me. I keep a supply on hand for such emergencies." Mrs. Bustier responded before walking back to the front of the class. Before she could get there, Rose spoke again.   
"Mrs. Bustier, may I go to the restrooms?" she asked.   
"Of course."  
To Adrien, there wasn't anything unusual about the exchange except how forgiving their teacher had been, but he could tell that Chloe was bothered by something. After thinking about it, he realized that Rose already had a pencil, but that still didn't warrant the scheming expression on Chloe's face. She was still staring at the note that was dropped in the trash can.   
The next time that Mrs. Bustier left the class alone for a few minutes, Chloe's struck. Sabrina reached into the trash where Mrs. Bustier had dropped the note and held it up for Chloe to read. Chloe audibly smirked, which is impressive in its own rights.   
"Oh claaaass!" Chloe announced in her awful, singsong voice. "I've got a little something to read to you! Remember how Rose needed a pencil when she was clearly holding one? Well, it wasn't a pencil that she needed." Chloe giggled, happy to embarrass others. In her ecstasy, she didn't notice her teacher reentering the classroom behind her.   
"Let me tell you what Rose really wrote. Ahem." Chloe snickered. "Hey, Julie, I lost track of the time of the month, and I forgot to bring any supplies. Could you lend me-"  
"That's enough. I chose to let that note slide, and it is none of your business what it said. Go to the principals office at once!" Mrs. Bustier announced. Chloe turned around, furious that her fun had been interrupted by a nosy teacher. She stalked out of the room, pouting the whole way. After the note was taken from her and ripped up, Sabrina was sent after Chloe, just as furious.   
Adrien was a little lost on what had just happened. All he knew was that Rose was bright red, Chloe was in trouble, and the remaining girls were all sending sympathetic looks towards the girl in the back of the classroom. All of the other boys were either awkwardly staring, frowning into the distance, or looking just as confused as Adrien. He decided to turn to his number one source of information- Nino. While Mrs. Bustier was angrily scratching down a lesson on the chalkboard, Adrien asked his friend his burning question.   
"Hey Nino?" he said.  
"Yeah Adrien?" Nino replied, breaking his angry staring contest with the wall.  
"What just happened?"  
"Uhhh, Chloe read Rose's note to the class. Probably trying to embarrass her- everyone knows that people like Rose more than her." Nino answered.  
"Yeah, but what was so embarrassing about that?" Adrien said, still not understanding.  
"Well, Rose probably didn't want everyone to know about it. Like, it's no big deal, but it's still a private thing, and girls are really sensitive about it."  
"I'm not following."   
Nino tried to form a sentence to answer his friend, but even the most accepting and non-judgemental of teenagers need a little help some times, so he turned around and whispered, "Hey Marinette, why don't you answer Adrien's question?"  
"Uh, sure, what's the question?" Marinette mostly-didn't-stutter.   
"Why does Rose seem so embarrassed?" Adrien innocently.   
Marinette's stutter was back with a vengeance. "Well, you see, it's kind of a, well actually girls kind of, not to say that it's awful, but you know-"  
"She's on her period and now the whole class knows," Alya interjected. "Which isn't exactly shameful, but like Nino said, it's more of a private matter."   
"Oh ok," Adrien said calmly.   
"Aren you going to ask more questions?" Nino questioned.  
"Dude, I know what a period is. I might not be familiar with how people talk about it, but I did learn about anatomy. I was tutored, remember?"   
"Oh, right," Nino laughed, and that was the end of that conversation. Of course, Adrien hadn't been paying any attention to his teacher during this exchange. After all, she was a level-headed teacher. She could handle Chloe's brattiness. 

\---

"What do you mean, Chloe isn't getting detention? She clearly violated class rules and another students privacy!" Mrs. Bustier yelled at Mr. Damocles.   
"I know, I know, but her father said that she's already overworked, so she just can't spend any time after school, and detention makes her break out."  
"Makes her break out? This is a school, not a beauty salon, and we both know that Sabrina has been doing her work for years!"  
"Now, now, there's no proof of that," Mr. Damocles murmured.   
"Only if you're paid to look the other way! How can I maintain a classroom when I can't give any punishment to the worst offender?" Mrs. Bustier shouted in frustration.   
"I know this isn't ideal, but my hands are tied. I simply cannot go against the Mayor," Mr. Damocles reasoned, knowing full well who was in the right here.   
"Tell that to the kids who've been akumatized," Mrs. Bustier retorted as she walked out of the office, pretending that nothing was wrong.


	2. Our lips are(n't) sealed

"Legitimator, I am Hawkmoth. It's so unfair when a secret is shared, but it's even more unfair when secrets are kept for money or power. You know what's right, and I can give you the power to reveal every secret in Paris. All I ask in return is that you bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculouses. Will you accept this truth?"

Mrs. Bustier smiled, a purple insignia glowing across her features. 

"Yes, Hawkmoth. No secrets will be safe from me."

\---

The next time that Adrien saw his teacher wasn't the next morning. He had the pleasure of seeing her on the news that afternoon. Breaking news, schoolteacher akumatized, calling herself the Legitimator. Terror spread throughout Paris as the Legitimator brought grown men and women to despair by forcing them to admit their secrets. Adrien knew that he needed to act fast before the entire city was consumed by the truth. Plagg had other plans.  
"Just let her get to the news station first. I want to know what the weather reporter is really thinking about the new traffic laws." Adrien rolled his eyes.

"Plagg, claws out!"

\---

The Legitimator was having field day, literally. She stood on the top of a statue and watched as her victims squirmed on the grass, wrapped in sheets of paper. In one hand was a staple gun that shot the previously mentioned paper. In her other hand was a aerosol can marked "Ethos." The Legitimator lept from the statue and strutted to her captives. One man was making a show of wiggling away, so he was the first target. She put the aerosol can in his face and sprayed. The man blinked twice before shouting, "I told my wife that I cleaned the bathroom, but I really just lit a candle for a while." The woman next to the affected man rolled her eyes and muttered, "That's not much of a secret," which caused the Legitimator to turn her way. After a quick spritz, she yelled,"I fart and blame the dog!" As the paper bindings disintegrated, the man stood up and rolled his eyes before helping his wife off of the ground. They then walked away as the Legitimator continued on her path of truth. 

Ladybug was huddled on a nearby building, taking in the scene. Although the Legitimator didn't seem to have any special physical abilities, Ladybug was hesitant to confront her, particularly without Chat Noir. So she kept watching as secrets of every type were revealed to the world. Within five minutes, eight love affairs were exposed to the world while Paris's superhero watched silently. 

"Sorry I'm late," Chat said, swooping in from the building behind Ladybug. "I was having a clawful morning."

"No time for puns, Chat. The people of Paris need our help." 

Chat smiled. "There's always time for puns, my lady. You just need to make sure your comic timing isn't buggy."

In the park, a woman screamed, "I didn't want to shower, so I just sprayed my hair with deodorant, and now I have a rash on my head!"

"Then again, we should probably do our jobs. Even a lucky charm can't fix a broken relationship." Chat gave a half grimace, and started to jump off of the building, but Ladybug grabbed his arm before he could make the leap

"Wait!" she assertively whispered. "We can't just go rushing into this battle like usual. This akuma preys on secrets, not just throwing a glowing sphere or beam. We could get into some real trouble. After all, we have our own secrets to maintain." 

Chat Noir frowned. "Our secrets can't be worth more than anyone else's secrets."

"No, Chat," Ladybug replied. "I mean our secret identities. This akuma doesn't seem that dangerous, but a slip of the mouth could be deadly."

Chat gulped, realizing the severity of their situation. "We still have to try though, don't we?"

"Of course, Chat. That's what superheroes do."


	3. Revelations

"Just remember, we absolutely cannot afford to get hit with a can of truth-spray. It would take one sentence to ruin our lives. Our identities must remain a secret at all costs."

 

Ladybug's warning flashed through Chat's mind as he tumbled into the battlefield. It seemed so easy from on top of the building, but the task was much harder on the ground. 

"Ladybug!" the Legitimator yelled, "I've been waiting for you! It's time to face the truth!"

"The only truth here," Ladybug replied back with all of the confidence in the world, "is that you're going down!"

Oh shoot, it was Chat's turn to make a snarky reply. What puns can you make about this? Think, kitty, think!

"Yeah, it's no secret that...uh, that we're going to win!" 

Great delivery, Chat thought to himself. 

There wasn't much time for thinking though, as the Legitimator was ready to fight. Her staple gun clicked, preparing to send out a ream of papers. In her right hand, the aerosol can prepared for action, her fingers ready on the trigger like someone about to febreze a gym locker room.

So began their dance. Ladybug rushed to the left, Chat dodged to the right. Caught between two superheroes, Legitimator sprayed her can in a circle to drive them off then lept out of the mist, staple gun firing. She flipped over Ladybug, almost catching her off guard. The paper from the Legitimator's gun snaked towards Ladybug, but she jumped out of the way at the last second. Her yo-yo made an attempt at the can, but Legitimator deflected it with a twist of paper. Chat charged in, baton at the ready, but Legitimator was prepared. She hopped away from Ladybug before taking aim at Chat. 

"Why does the staple gun shoot paper? That's not what it's supposed to do." Chat thought to himself shortly before thinking, "Oh shit" as the paper ream wound up his leg.   
His distraction was his downfall, but he struggled to escape the paper. No sooner had he escaped the first round of paper than another piece climbed up his left leg and wound around his arms, rendering his claws nearly useless. His only available option was to use his Cataclysm, but so soon in the fight? Was it really worth it?

The Legitimator smirked at her captive cat, one arm raised with a can of truth spray. The word "Ethos" was dangerously close to Chat's face, poised to spray. 

"Chat!" Ladybug yelled, her yo-yo already on its way. It wrapped around the Legitimator's arm and pulled her away from Chat. The superhero tried to use this distraction to escape, but he could only waddle at a mildly quick pace while wrapped in the cumbersome papers. He turned his back to the fight in an attempt to waddle faster, listening to the clangs and thumps of the ladybug's yo-yo against the Legitimator's tool. He was almost out of the Legitimator's range when he stumbled upon his worst enemy- a poorly placed root. He tripped over the small root poking out of the ground, landing face-first with a disgruntled "Ompf." Chat wiggled, trying to right himself, but he only succeeded in flipping over on the ground. Now, he could watch helplessly as the Legitimator approached. With a shot of paper, she wrapped Ladybug's arms to her side, leaving Chat defenseless without his Lady's help. The Legitimator raised her right arm, a finger gently pressing down on the top of the aerosol can. A pale mist erupted from the nozzle, floating towards it's victim in slow motion. 

A sudden, desperate flash of red. With her arm still incapacitated, Ladybug jumped in front of her partner, trying to save him as he had saved her so many times before. 

"No!" shouted Chat, unable to do anything but watch as the spray wrapped around his Lady, slowly entering her body. Her lips pressed together tightly, attempting to stop the inevitable release of words. 

Her vain efforts failed, and with a pop of her lips, Ladybug made an announcement to all of Paris.

"I have a crush on Adrien Agrest!"


End file.
